Tuesday, March 30, 2010

a little reflecting

What was a crazy and sometimes difficult transition is now becoming our new and wonderful normal. We are absolutely loving our little guy. He is a delight and keeps us smiling.

There are so many firsts right now, obviously. I love every time that we introduce him to something new. They aren't big things usually, but it's amazing that he has never experienced them before.

In the past few weeks he has had his first trip to Central Park, gone to church for the first time, seen his first cars and buses, visited his first museum- the American Museum of Natural History, attended his first concert- Becky's flute recital, heard songs like "Jesus loves me" and "This little piggy went to market" for the first time, and worn his first pair of shoes.

It feels like a privilege every time we get to introduce him to something new.

I am far from getting this mothering thing down, and certainly am not yet one to offer advice of much substance. I have made a few observations though the past two months that I hope I will remember with subsequent babies. So I will write them here...

-Be present while feeding. Turn off the TV, close down the computer.
It's so smart how God designed it. Every couple hours a new mom is forced to sit and rest for 30 minutes or so while feeding her baby. (though this may not seem so restful at first)
Make the most of this time if you can. Don't try to distract your mind with worthless things.
Look down in your arms- Incredible!
During feedings that I don't accidentally fall asleep, I often just stare at him, squeeze his chubby legs, and pray for him.
It's also great to have a few really good, edifying books nearby to read while they eat. The past two months, it has been during feedings that I have spent the most time with the Lord.

I have moved into a time now where it's easy for me to get some things done on the computer while he eats, which is helpful. But I already find myself missing those first several weeks when it was difficult to do anything else but just be there in the moment.
Make it a time that's rejuvenating, not a time that deadens the mind.

- Get on the floor.
Or wherever your baby is playing.
I read a great quote a while back: Children spell Love T-I-M-E.
It has just been in the last few weeks that we can set Caedmon down for a little bit and let him "play" on his own. This is certainly a great time to run around getting things done while I have a few minutes with baby-free arms, and it's important for him to have a little time alone. But I hope I will also allow lots of time to plop down next to him and play. I am rewarded with BIG smiles when I do.

- Fight to maintain meaningful time with your spouse.
For instance, we have always made a big effort to go to bed at the same time. This is when some of our greatest conversations happen, and we both often say it's our favorite time of the day. New baby schedules and demands threaten things like this, and some of these things might have to change for a season. But we have worked to keep this one up. Letting it go hasn't been an option.

Struggling couples often speak of how they've "grown apart" in marriage. It seems that the growing apart often results from letting go of the things one by one that once seemed important and necessary for the good of the marriage. Fight for these things.

Those are my thoughts for today.

Most people tell us they see Kristian in Caedmon. Occasionally someone says they see me. One of the more interesting comments we received this week regarding resemblance was that he had my... cheeks.
I'm pretty sure that's not the look I'm going for.
At least they didn't say chin.