Monday, December 17, 2007

Blue in NYC

i'm feeling blue.
sister moved back to texas yesterday.

kristian and i feel like empty-nesters. our family of three is no more.

anne worked at the foundation with me. everything here at the office this morning reminds me of her.

i didn't want to go get our traditional monday morning egg-on-a-roll this morning before work. the man knows our order and starts to make it when we walk in. if i went this morning i would have had to say "just one today, and forevermore".

there is a little bag of baked cheetos in the office kitchen. annie bought them and we'd always share them. we would split the cheetos evenly into two paper coffee filters. i dont know why we used coffee filters instead of the paper plates or cups. but we just did. and now who will eat the other half? i can't eat the cheetos.

there is oren's coffee in the kitchen mini fridge. annie and i started buying it while she lived here because it's fair trade, and so very good. annie loved the coffee. and the pumpkin spice latte creamer that she bought too. i can't drink the pumkin-spiced coffee.

anne sat at her desk and checked the office voice messages when she got in. i went over to her desk and there were some papers with her hand writing which made me sad. i can't check the messages. or maybe i'm just being lazy. i hate checking the messages.

last night i went in her room to turn the lamp off. i did, but it was too sad. like the final acknowledgment that she was gone and the room was empty. i turned the lamp back on.

i know, i know. im being pitiful and a bit dramatic. i'm embarrassed to say that we will see her in 2 weeks when we go home.

but still, it's the end of a season. and sometimes the changes of seasons are sad.

as i write, "a few of my favorite things" from sound of music is playing on the radio. i am trying to focus on girls in white dresses and kittens with whiskers. unfortunately i hate cats so the song is worthless.

thankfully, i have many wonderful friends here, and not to mention the most remarkable husband. so i'm not lonely.

i just miss sister.

{ with julie and anne at thanksgiving }